ok. so i shop at arndale. also known as barndale. let’s just say some of the people are interesting. but i leave them alone and they leave me alone.
mostly.
today however i was having a chai latte with a mate and we found ourselves wanting. chips. so V ordered some and just as she got back to the table this dude was kind of eyeing us off.
i shouldn’t have made eye contact.
so he starts on about how cool my hat is (well it is pretty cool) and asks where i got it. garage sale i reply. oh. they’re hard to find, only op shops and old men have them. yep, try myer dude. they sometimes have them.
do you mind if i sit down?
crap. he sits down.
he smells. bad. b.o. have a shower mate!
he’s bouncing around. clearly he’s on something. he starts on about how he wasn’t really interested in the hat and was interested in meeting people. girls specifically and went on about how many numbers he’d got today, except for this one girl who was with her dad and how dad had said to come back later but he didn’t want to because he was too scared to. i’m not surprised. if i was someone’s dad i’d probably have said come back later when i’ve reloaded. he also wasn’t able to get some other chick’s number and he thought she was a lesbian or had a boyfriend. i suspected that neither of these was the case.
i had to resist the urge to ask if his name was doug or steve butabi.
so he’s crapping on about stuff. i’m trying to figure out a way to get him to leave and still ensure all my limbs are intact, he didn’t look scary, but one can never tell.
i’m dropping all sorts of hints he’s barking up the wrong tree. he remarks about having more than one woman on the go is bad, ‘don’t i know it!!’ i say. *whoosh* over the head.
i’m just about to pull out the big gun, my standard response to unwanted attention from guys who just aren’t getting it and say ‘excuse me buddy, but i’m actually on a date here’ and hope that whoever i happen to be with plays along with the charade, but the chips arrive and he says he’ll leave us to eat our food.
thank f**k he didn’t stay to eat them too!
